I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
