Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
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I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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