he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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