No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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