Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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