Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
