Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
