I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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