I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.