he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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