there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
