there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
