Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
