found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
