he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
