I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
