just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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