Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Watching her eat just hurts me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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