i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
