i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
