I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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