His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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