Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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