You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
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