i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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