i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
