dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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