Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
