I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
