some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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