I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
