Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
