i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
