i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
