..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
