wanna go halves on a baby?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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