So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
