i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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