Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
two words...techno handjob
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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