you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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