I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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