Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
