One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
