So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize