He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
