wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
