Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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