She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
