That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
