Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
