All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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