Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
