So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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