I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
