Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
