To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My pussy is not your playground.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
