It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's shark week go big or go home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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