Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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